6th grade me was having daily suicidal thoughts and my parents just called it my 'glow up era' lmao

So back in 6th grade my whole friend group just. dropped me. full class ostracism. The ringleader of all the social politics stuff had liked me at the start of the year and I think that made it worse when it turned.

And then my homeroom teacher found out I was being excluded and decided the move was to call me out IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS and let the kids laugh. I was quiet. I was a good student. And she looked at me and basically said 'why do you even exist like this.' Worst teacher I've ever seen in my life.

Every single morning I was terrified to go to school. Walking to the music room alone. Walking to the art room alone. Eating lunch alone. And feeling like all 29 other kids in that class of 30 actively hated me. Not just didn't care. HATED.

I was having thoughts about dying every day. At home I was fighting constantly with my parents on top of it.

My younger sibling is the age I was then right now and I look at them and they're so small?? They know nothing?? And I think about how someone that small was being pushed into those thoughts every single day because of the people around them. genuinely awful of everyone involved.

My parents never knew about the bullying btw. And recently my mom saw me and was like 'omg you were SUCH a mess in 6th grade lmaooo' and just laughed about it.

Hearing that hit different and I just started writing all this down.