my (28F) ex bf (31M) said texting female coworkers is "just networking" lmao ok

So this happened back in July and I genuinely don't know if I was being unreasonable or not. I'm 28, he was 31, we dated about 2 years.

Okay so. He texted everyone constantly. Guy friends, girl friends, coworkers, whatever. His texts with his female friends? Genuinely harmless. He talked to them exactly like he talked to dudes. Cursing, stupid jokes, one person leaves it on read and the convo dies. Whatever. I didn't love it but I let it go.

When I asked him to maybe chill a little he got DEFENSIVE. Like how dare I. "Why can't I text my friends, are you serious right now." And then he hit me with "if something was actually going on I wouldn't leave the chat open for you to see" and "I literally don't see her that way." Not even a "I hear you, I'll be more mindful." Nothing. Just me being the problem.

Fine. I swallowed it.

But then the female coworkers started. And that felt different to me. It would start as work stuff, sure, but it ALWAYS drifted into small talk. I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. He said "so I can't have a normal work relationship with a woman? that's insane."

I backed off again. For a while I just stopped looking.

Then one day I saw the chats.

Okay here's the one that got me. This is female coworker A.

him: hey can you handle [work thing] asap it's urgent

her: done

him: omg thank you you're literally a lifesaver

her: it was nothing, just ask whenever

him: *pretty girls really do have the kindest hearts*

her: lmaoooo stop lying you don't have to say that

him: [read, no reply]

HE SAID THAT. He actually said that. And then just. Left her on read.

And then SAME girl, different day:

her: ugh I'm so annoyed

him: ?? who made you mad

her: that guy from [department] is so rude, doesn't listen to women at all. next time you go over there can you find an excuse to put him in his place for me?

him: (he's her superior btw) yeah sure, got it

There were more. One day she sent him a little motivational sticker thing in the morning because he seemed off, and he went "lol thanks" and that was it.

She has a boyfriend. Her profile pic is literally her and her boyfriend. So my theory is they both knew nothing would happen and that's exactly WHY they felt comfortable doing this. Little flirty nothing comments with zero consequences. "Responsible" thrill or whatever.

And then coworker B. Oh coworker B.

Relationship advice. Asking him to teach her how to work out (he's into fitness). "Buy me meat." Etc etc.

Coworker C got a "hey is the office busy today" on his day OFF.

Every woman he got even slightly friendly with got an Instagram follow.

He's not even hot btw. I want to be clear. He's like 180cm and doesn't have a gut. That's the whole resume. And honestly that might be why I kept making excuses. Like... he's not conventionally attractive so how bad could it be. I feel so dumb writing that out.

So I finally said: I saw the chats. Stop making me feel crazy. It looks like you're enjoying this. I don't want to get in the way of that so let's just break up, figure out which one of them you want.

And THEN he apologized. THEN he begged. "I'll stop I promise I'm so sorry please don't go."

Too late bestie.

I had already been giving him the benefit of the doubt forever, letting him gaslight me into thinking I was the suspicious one, the controlling one. But those chats were just. No. I'm not doing this.

We're done. Definitely not getting back together.

But genuinely asking, was any of that normal?? The "pretty girls have kind hearts" thing to a coworker. Is that just how people talk at work now?? Am I the crazy one here??