Senior tried to use my car as free Uber, I taught him a lesson

Listen. If your coworker ever says "we're like family" while asking for a ride, RUN. I learned this the hard way over 6 months of pure hell.

So last year I finally bought an SUV after years of taking the bus. Like literally the same week, my department senior Kim slides up like "hey we live in the same direction, give me rides to work." Dude. His place is 15 minutes OUT OF THE WAY but I'm a junior, I can't exactly say no to a senior asking, right? Worst mistake of my life.

First month he's all apologetic. By month two? I'm his personal chauffeur. Shows up 5-10 mins late every single day, then climbs in like "crank the AC, why's there dust on the floor mats, did you even wash this thing?" For SIX MONTHS this man did not pay a single gas station visit. Not one. No tolls, no coffee, nothing. When I'd hint that gas prices were crazy he'd be like "aren't we like family? I'll give you a big gift at your wedding" and just... move on.

Then it happened. Pouring rain, he's 15 mins late AGAIN, and just HURLS his wet umbrella onto my leather backseat. I tell him to be careful and he goes "is the car the boss or is the person the boss? Don't ruin my mood." Then proceeds to EAT gimbap with pickled radish IN MY CAR. I watched that smell penetrate everything and decided: this man is unfixable.

Next day I texted him: "Senior, I'm doing early morning swimming now so you need to be at my place by 5:30 AM. Take it or leave it." He hated it but couldn't pass up free rides so... he showed up.

Then I went full unhinged.

I cranked the heat to MAX. Full blast heater + butt warmers on high. When he complained I'm like "oh sorry, I run cold." Meanwhile I'm blasting heavy metal at full volume while pretending to hum along and not hear him asking me to turn it down. The man was SWEATING.

But the real move? I saved it for the office lobby when everyone's arriving. Walked in with him and LOUDLY announced: "Senior Kim! I calculated six months of carpool and it comes out to about $1,500. I'm cutting you a deal—I'm billing you exactly $1,000. Please transfer it by lunch today!"

The whole office went DEAD SILENT. His face turned beet red. I dropped the invoice on his desk.

He called me into his office screaming "are you INSANE?" So I calmly turned on my phone's voice recorder and said "should we post this on the company bulletin board and let everyone vote on who's being unreasonable?"

Face went pale. Few days later: $1,000 in my account. He's now permanently known as "the carpool freeloader." Stays quiet. Doesn't bother anyone.

Moral? When someone treats your kindness like rent-free housing in their entitlement mansion, you burn the whole house down. Now I drive to work blasting my favorite songs in total peace. Don't be a doormat.